Art is Alive

This afternoon felt like a breakthrough. This website, my vision was finally in front of me. Interactive and live. It’s been a few weeks since I was staring at a blank domain. I had no idea what I was doing or how I was going to make it happen. I’ve cried, I’ve been screaming at the computer, I’ve been so upset and frustrated at the whole process. From start until now.

The whole concept began a year ago. I was looking through my stack of binders and paperwork. A room full of finished artwork. I was moving out of my home. I had so many ideas and so much stuff to purge. It was a sad realization as well as an opportunity to cleanse. I saw myself on a train moving at full speed. If only the track was already built. I knew it was up to me to lay down each piece.

Step one, don’t get off the train. Check. Step two, figure out a plan. Check. I used up as many art supplies as I could, painting the interior walls of my home in a tropical mural. All because I was ten seconds too late with another art contest. I had plans to win a mural competition and travel to Atlanta, Georgia. In my mind, I was about to be the artist in residence for Moxy Hotels. The sketch was just an imprint, the mural was complete and painted. But it was all a vision. After investing so much time into another submission just to feel rejected, enough was enough. Although the paint was on my own walls I was proud of myself for fulfilling the desire. I told my family I was going to paint myself out of the house. I did just that.

For six months, I spent every weekend at the park pavilion, painting the lake and scenery. The first weekend there I found myself hiding out in the back corner, painting in the shadows. I wasn’t sure I could fight through my anxiety and be on display. My personality tends to be more of a panic attack then personable. Lucky for me, a birthday party crowd showed up and I was unintentionally acting as entertainment for little kids. And their parents. My nerves never got the best of me and it turned out to be a huge success. I was called a real artist, I was inspiring to strangers. And it was amazing.

Sunday became my favorite day of the week. I’d spend all day Saturday planning what I was going to wear and making chocolates to hand out. My mom, sister, and niece were my support team. We’d have lots of coffee and a BBQ lunch. The day was over when I’d throw my arms in the air and declare the piece of art finished. Then my mom and I would sit on the sofa, admiring the completed mural. All of which are now stacked against the wall in my tiny apartment (and looking for a new home :).

Lots of inspiration along the way, mainly meeting a bunch of new people as we passed out artwork and chocolates for free. It became a mission to let go of everything. Along with freebies at the park, we stopped by my local Starbucks and dropped off gifts for all the employees who made my cold brew coffee. The artist in me is also a seamstress, which led me to designing and sewing over a hundred original pieces of clothes. So in the spirit of sharing, I packed them all up and anonymously donated several bags to local charities and thrift stores. My house was clearing out, and my art and clothes were no longer hidden in the back corner.

I was no longer hiding in the back. I was standing at the park with my arms in the air! I was free of all the things I had used as a security blanket. I was stronger than ever. I am now stronger than I have ever been. I am alive and so is art.

In honor of this feeling today, I put all my house plants together and took a picture. My plants are a symbol of life, a sign that I am still trying. Those plants couldn’t live without water. And I will not survive without art!